She is just coming out of a depression that lasted over two years and during that time she took my phone calls and answered the door when I stopped by. Years of just being there finally paid off.

I am a firm believer that adults do not owe other adults anything. My children and grandchildren aren’t obligated to visit me or to do things for me. I am not obligated either. What I do is because I love them. I realized with my sister(one of my seven siblings) that no matter how awful she was(and depression can make people absolutely awful to be around) that I loved her even when I couldn’t stand her. This made it possible for me to send a card or leave a voice mail once or twice a year to begin with and then more often when I realized it didn’t hurt me and might help her.

People who are asking you to keep contacting your brother probably find you to be more stable and think you can do it. With seven siblings, I have a large extended family. Sometimes what seems like pure nosiness is also concern.

This is so long but this is a difficult issue. There is no one right answer.

That tat looks like it must have hurt.