I try as often as possible to not feel pity for myself, to not worry about what others think but when my birthday comes around, I slowly allow my self to wonder why I am wasting my life. I have the job I wanted since high school, I have a viable career that will allow me to go farther than any job would. Every year around this time, I think of all the promises I made to my self in the past few years. Before it use to be lose 50 pounds, now its open up to someone. My ability to speak freely in my writing helps but the yearning to have that connection I so longingly want with someone is unbearable. Not even to say I would want a full-blown relationship but someone that I can actually feel free enough to show my self. I am sick of hiding, and its mildly pathetic of me to feel like I need someone to do this for me. Hiding has always been my safety net; no one can hurt you if you never show them who you are, right?

By the time I’m 21, I’ll be rooting for 22.