Weird.

I don’t understand how one moment I feel so out of place at my job and the next I feel part of something. Its nice to be surrounded by people that might not share the same beliefs or likes as me but feel so at home with them. Basically I love everyone there, even though some of them drive me crazy.

Benefit of the Doubt

It’s strange to me that everyone has a different amount of care that they put into a job, most people feel the need to walk everywhere they go, and hope that others around them will finish the job that they are too lazy to finish. I have never really been one of those people, my last boss told me that I liked to run only to turn around and wonder where everyone fucking was, I crave being valued but for some reason at my current job nothing seems like enough, the more I try the more my boss makes me feel like I’m not good enough. Those two words mean the world to me and instead of finding something that is good about what I do, he insists on breaking me down. I try to give him the benefit of the doubt for his reasoning in acting this way towards me but I am truthfully beginning to wonder if the girls that he find to be his “best of the best” would be treated differently if they looked like me.

I know I’m rough around the edges; my feminist qualities tend to get in the way because I do not find the value in someone just looking attractive as to why they are better at my job than I am. I cannot have conversations with most of the people I work with because their views differ from mine on so many different levels. I could give two shits about expensive clothing, and standing around talking about how you think that you need butt implants is not something that I care to even know about, let alone pretend is something exciting. I love makeup, which is probably the only thing that I can talk about with my fellow co-workers, but I love it for its ability to accentuate my favorite features, not because I wish to hide the things I hate about myself, because I don’t hate anything about myself. And for last but not least, I am pale, I was born pale I will die pale and there is no fucking way that I will go tanning with you.

I want to know where all of the educated un-materialistic hard working women are in the world. Why are they all hiding and why are none of them servers where I work? Where can I find the people that value a woman having a brain instead of a perfect body and the inability to articulate? I feel lost in this place where I have no one to talk about the things that are going around in my head, let alone feel the want to go to work where my bosses seem to feel that my personality is not what they want at their bar. I feel like it’s in some sort of time warp, 1950’s anyone?

One good thing about this whole issue, I feel the need to blog. Up next, I am going to write about all of the exciting hits I’ve been getting from my site meter.

A New Beginning

I finally have a job. Not exactly the job that I was looking for, but something to tide me over until something else finds me. While trolling one of my many job sites I saw a post for a new bar and grille opening in a month. It’s pretty much the non-kid version of the last restaurant I worked at and will have a more upscale clientele.

Located in Madonna’s home town, instead of smack dab in the middle of where I grew up, means no more acting like I care about seeing people I went to high school with. My only reservation is the fact that it is a brand new restaurant; it is not even done being built, so going in and checking it out before hand is out of question.

Also with the fact that most restaurants have a revolving door with new servers starting every month, I am guessing becoming someone with the highest seniority will not be hard. Oh and I have to remember how to use trays….

Office Spat

It’s always a good day when you can have a laugh at another co-workers expense. It’s even better when someone else makes it worse.

It all started when someone took half of someone’s drink/protein shake in the community refrigerator.

Where I am

My internship / temporary job is coming to an end. I have been sending out my resume to company after company hoping that one would call. I think I am at thirty applications, one call, and one interview that seemed like a scheme. I am lost, annoyed, bitter, depressed and stressed out. I feel tied down, and although my optimistic side is telling me things will work out in the end, I cannot help but feel like everything is getting ready to crash down. My car feels like is going to turning into a rock on wheels any day now. I would love a steady paycheck. The word salary comes to mind, benefits, vacation pay, they sound good. Sometimes I feel like I set my standards too high.

Winter semester starts on January 8th, and I have no idea if I will have money for it, I love how the semester ends and everyone from the financial aid office decides to not return any fucking phone calls. They have the time to send me a letter telling me to call them, but then when I do they don’t return my phone call.

What I will do for a job….

1. Dress like a mascot (I had to dress like an iguana once)
2. Make cynical remarks that make you laugh
3. Talk about the cool things I saw on Gizmodo.com
4. Say ‘Ok Buddy’ 10 times a day
5. Dress girlie (if you want)
6. Act like an idiot (That comes without the job)
7. Pretend I know what I am talking about, while pulling it out of my ass
8. Wear a shirt that says “I’m with god” and then proceed to follow you around all day
9. Wear really cool shoes on Fridays
10. Be your bitch, you want coffee? Sure! What size?

Office Present

I came into work today and with a “Happy Halloween” post-it attached I got the coolest present ever!

I never thought I would be so excited about dolls that are cut in half. I have an idea of who gave them to me but he is not coming into work today. So until then I will just admire them. They work Perfectly with my Ugly Dolls.